Greasy Businessman Donald Trump, Jr. Sent Bacon-Themed Pick-Up DMs to Model
March 16, 2018Greasy Businessman Donald Trump, Jr. Sent Bacon-Themed Pick-Up DMs to Model
Who would have thought that a guy named Donald Trump would be sleazy. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being sleazy in and of itself, but it’s not an admirable quality, and it’s the sort of thing that gets your wife to leave you. Especially if you’re asking models if their vaginas smell like bacon. What? Wait, back up.
Surprised his marriage didn’t work out since he was sending me DMs a month after his wife gave birth. (I tweeted a joke about pulling a muscle changing a tampon and he replied asking if I smelled bacon? Cool joke) pic.twitter.com/JbuwC1wghf
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) March 16, 2018
I deleted my tweets a while ago in this exchange but just found this one pic.twitter.com/VXJ6lL9Ena
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) March 16, 2018
His dad is president why hasn’t he deleted these tweets? #bacon pic.twitter.com/ERfjValU9D
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) March 16, 2018
Damn, even I am better at thirst-sliding into someone’s DMs than that. Of course, Trump may have honestly just been after the bacon.
Does anyone else have a Bacon fetish??? It sounds so wrong but tastes so right!
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) November 20, 2011
The dude loves his bacon.
Thought I was having dinner w @MrsVanessaTrump till i saw her remove bacon from a sandwich. Who are u & what have u done w my wife?
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) November 12, 2013
Only if bacon miraculously became a veggie “@JeBoo86: @MrsVanessaTrump I'm guessing @DonaldJTrumpJr is not joining u on this veggie cleanse”
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) February 21, 2013
Like a cinabun but sub the cinnamon w bacon "@Avi_Singh_: Jr how does that work? Is there bacon in it? Like pieces? Or is it flavored?"
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) August 10, 2012
Amazing! Who says Merican ingenuity is dead? "@Gawker: SoCal Burger Chain Introduces 'Merica Burger: 100% Ground Bacon http://t.co/dfbsL8gt"
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) July 6, 2012
Christ, bacon is to boring white dudes what pumpkin spice is to basic bitches. I like bacon just fine with eggs and toast or on top of a cheeseburger, but I don’t become erect at the smell of it and use bacon-related entendres to hit on models on Twitter.
Of course, there are other reasons not to date Don Jr., bacon kinks aside.
How could anyone divorce this man? pic.twitter.com/Hk2lIDNbIU
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) March 15, 2018
Who gets custody of this dead elephant pic.twitter.com/CPgvtihEti
— Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) March 15, 2018
Don should only be photographed next to Eric, it’s the only time anyone will refer to him as “the normal-looking one”.
Don’s divorce was the talk of Twitter writ large, not just his bacony fetishes.
I refuse to joke about Vanessa Trump bc it's NEVER funny when a couple files for an uncontested quick divorce, one where assets can be swiftly transferred, on the same day an independent special counsel subpoenas their family business. People, this could happen to you someday.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 16, 2018
It’s humiliating that Donny Jr allowed his WIFE to file for divorce first! He needs to protect the #Trump name by going on TV & #Twitter, insist that HE dumped HER first, then date some big-boob blondes! I told him it’s gonna be OK! There are plenty of porn-stars in the sea!
— Donald J. Trump (@Trumptweets2020) March 16, 2018
To the people who are lecturing on the insensitive remarks being made about Donald Trump Jr’s divorce, you have to remember he is the CEO of The Trump Organization.
Which is 400th most successful business on 5th Avenue between 49th and 57th Street.
It’s newsworthy.
— YS (@NYinLA2121) March 16, 2018
trump-loving "conservatives": Divorce is painful! It's so SAD!!!! No one should ever make fun of someone who is going through something so painful!
Also trump-loving "conservatives": hahahaha, aw, the poor widdle babies are scared of getting shot to death at school, lol
— darrylayo (@darrylayo) March 16, 2018
Oh, but the topper here is have you seen Don and Vanessa’s wedding picture?
Vanessa Trump filed for divorce from Don Jr in part because of his social media usage. The world needs to see his glorious haircut in his wedding photo pic.twitter.com/5JnBetiRfx
— Katie Heard (@katieheard2910) March 15, 2018
Jesus Christ, how many extra chromosomes does Eric Trump have? Don and Eric Trump look like the lackeys of the bully in an 80’s teen comedy. Ivanka’s pretty hot, though, no wonder her dad wants to fuck her.
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